Europeia Monthly Updates

[Sincluda]

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☆ Introduction by President UPC

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Hello everyone, and welcome to Europeia's July Foreign Update: This Newsletter Never Ju-lies! We have a lot to celebrate this month, from our Vice President Grea Kriopia's commendation, to our new treaty with the South Pacific. And this edition also contains a special segment on The Great Book of Lard -- In Its Incompletion, a work in progress by the brilliant Grandfather Clock. And of course, we've included some media highlights from the EBC and EBC radio, such as The Wacky History of Europeian Religions. Without further ado, let's get into the update!

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Below are some short extracts from this month's update. For the full update, see the dispatch version!

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☆ Regional News by Maowi, Andusre, and Istillian

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Population: 1,215 | Delegate Endorsements: 276

President UPC | Speaker Rand | Chief Justice Prim

Delegate UPC Reaches Endorsement High

Our region's WA delegate UPC reached 283 recorded endorsements on the 25th July, which is the highest this metric has been since upc took the position over 300 days ago. This regional high is in spite of recent activity in the Europeian Republican Navy, whose operations commonly decrease WA Delegate endorsements as players move their WAs abroad to serve the interests of Europeia. A strong showing from our region is of special importance in these and the coming days, with several proposals of Europeian interest on the Security Council voting floor, in the queue, and on the drafting forum.

Grea Kriopia Receives Security Council Commendation

The Commendation of Europeia's Vice President Grea Kriopia (GK) has resoundingly passed the Security Council after four days of voting in which the result never seemed in real doubt. In her half a year or so as a Europeian citizen she has become a hugely treasured member of the community, as well as an incredibly valued contributor to regional government with her years of experience across NationStates. It is these years that Commendation co-authors UPC and Westinor detail in the resolution; her expertise spans military gameplay, cultural events, mentorship, diplomacy, and more, and she has had huge achievements in 10000 Islands, The Order of the Grey Wardens, The Rejected Realms, and in interregional events. Congratulations GK on this thoroughly deserved honour!

... and much more!

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☆ Culture Highlight: The Great Book of Lard — In Its Incompletion

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The ever-growing Great Book of Lard has graced the Republic Square since August 2023, causing divine rapture among readers throughout the many months of its sprawl. It stands at a staggering word count of more than 22,000 at the time of writing. We include as a taster the newest revelation (xii. Burial), a few words with its creator (the one and only Grandfather Clock aka GC), and some reviews from its Europeian devotees.

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xii. Burial

There you sit, your waist all drenched in Murk. Oughtn’t you weep for what is to come, that everdreaded thatchery that overtakes you so? It is in complement to those who did come before, though you did not, having known they did come and you did not, why did you come if not to come as they did? You should have known better.

The Moon descends on her delicate slick of limbs from upwards. She is come to greet you, to slip her arms into yours. Feel that comfort, and you will be cleverly slumpt free. Every bloodoar you have seeps and weeps in grief for their fanged body to be unhoused and for their own to be unsheathed. You oughn’t weep for what is to come, lest that everdreaded thatchery overtakes you so.

You can count four fetid flowers thorned into your palm since the first branch waxed from that slipsome earth, since the lightsome and His bests crawled aheavenwards. You are the first of the daylings to make it this far. This will not go unpunished.
Erratum. This is no dreaded punishment.

Ere was it revelled, that moonshine did permeate those lands of craum and tempt, when you daunted and chanted for those aughs up nighly, who did not in hindsight flail you or others anyso. You wended and wandered, tempted and singed, tapping evermight etch plain dread into every a collarbone snapped briskly. Dread and dream, valleyfolk.

There came a time, not yet chewed and spat, where the daunting and crauming and shrieking and flailing became all too little much, sending sole, now that haughbest yheavenfrom, twisting and writhing homewards. And you were craumed with the best of them, charred friends and friends alike, outsights drained of let, where only carnations grew from their emptied eyeholes.

You were craumed alike, sprung when great swamps drowned dry land parch, shaken when drywet land roiled seethe you see your moonshone ways in fail. A great plundering took sole from valleyhame, thatching welcome otherways. You are not welcome here. Yet you have made it this far, anaw uncrossed if not for, yet made seen selve in your corpse for sole in grave did plant that honeysooth liquorsome froe, sprouted anupwards nothing at all, for its sake.

Read the rest of xii. Burial, GC's commentary, and reviews for the Great Book of Lard here!

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